aptv: All Pies TV Network

See all of our scheduled PIE programming with your pie host Betty.

1) THE clumsy maid: A bikini-clad house guest and the fashionable and massive breasted matron are joined by the gorgeous, but clumsy maid to select pies for a dinner party. You can probably guess that the pies don't stay on table and the clothes don't stay on the ladies. 2) family classics--a home-spun darling with pigtails, who owns a dog named Toto, is singing about rainbows. When she belts out the phrase "weigh a pie" the audience obliges her with several tasty butter-creams!

3) daytime drama: We believe that a romantic soap titled, "The Pied and the Plentiful" says it all without further description.

4) monday night sports: Straight to pre-Olympic trials of the Pie-Boomerang Competition. 5) commercial breaks--Who else would be the star sponsor of All Pies TV? Of course, it's "Samantha's Secret" the pie cream body treatment that's been keeping WAM Models the world over in top shape for years and for years to come.

6) early morning exercise--Pie-Er-Cise is back to the forefront of modern aerobics as Keeley proves with the same energy and zeal as she did when she invented the workout procedure a decade ago!

7) special events--All Pie's TV crew sneeks behind the stages of "The International Miss Cutie-Pie Pageant." The 1st and 2nd runners-up have a few problems with the newly crowned queen and the pies start to fly.

8) saturday nights--Saturday Nights are reserved for "viewer request" specials. In the premiere episode a viewer requests that the entire cast of 10 gorgeous gals dress in their best slips and nighties, to pie each other in a slow deliberate manner. The All Pies Cast delivers to the max, along with a lengthy hose down to boot!

9) aftermath--an extended credit sequence provides many hysterical behind-the-scenes insights, multiple and sumptuous hose-downs, production tips--and see how the aptv Models really behave when they are out in public at Busch Gardens Theme Park.